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5 reasons to break a promise

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We live in a time when a thousand promises are made and a thousand and one promises are broken. Politicians lie to us before the elections, and so afterwards. Advertising wants us to believe that there is finally a product that solves our problems and leaves us happy and satisfied. And always disappoints us. Bosses and colleagues serve up false temptations. The customers we worked our asses off for don't end up paying. And in private life, well ... every second marriage ends in divorce, you can hardly rely on friends today, and the children hardly visit you anymore, although they have assured you that they would visit us every Sunday afternoon (even if they were at the other end of the day World are drawn).

At the same time, all institutions, fellow human beings and advisors tell us: whoever promises what has to keep it! Always! At all costs! Be authentic! And you want to stand by your word and not let anyone down. So you either pull through everything you have committed yourself to, if necessary crawling on your teeth, or you feel lousy, like the last monster. Unless you've jumped on the eso-ego trip that makes you think (please read in a bitter, bitchy or unctuous tone): “I only do what feels good to me here and now, I am yes soooo spiritual! ".

Today's price question is therefore:

When should you break a promise?

Of course, we should keep all promises we have made as well as possible. Just because you are too lazy to take the promised help with the move, you shouldn't leave the other person out in the rain. And of course you shouldn't cheat your partner, to whom you have promised eternal loyalty, with her stomach, legs and buttocks trainer, her best friend, her sister, her brother and her mother (or all of them at once).

But there are some situations when it is better not to keep your word:

  • 1. You would damage yourself with it. A German saying goes: "In a few minutes you can make more promises than keep the whole year". We want to be good, to help, to participate, to comfort, to tackle, to save ... but sometimes we simply load ourselves up too much. If your health would seriously suffer from keeping the promise, then the price is simply too high and the emergency brake must be pulled urgently.
  • 2. You have promised something that is not in your power. Sometimes we commit ourselves to things that we cannot or can only partially influence. The best example: “I will always love you!”. But love can go and it is not always possible to stop it and bring it back. And in the long run, loyalty makes no sense without love. Then a clean, albeit black, final line is better than a permanent gray sticking together out of obligation.
  • 3. You have received new information or gained a new consciousness. There is always a certain test in the stupid bogus news journals on television. A man asks passers-by to help them load heavy items into his van. What many of them do not realize: the man is a burglar. As soon as they come across it by themselves or are informed about it, from my point of view they are released from their oath of help. New information - new decision necessary. Or you have reached a higher level of consciousness: think of the son who assures his father that he will continue to run the slaughterhouse later on, but then becomes a convinced vegetarian and slaughter does not really fit his passions anymore.
  • 4. You can create a lot more value in other ways. If you feel that you can enrich the world much more in a new way than before, then that is also a good reason to break away from an old bond. Perhaps you've been blogging about the latest celebrity affairs for three years and have a number of loyal readers, but you realize that you could help a lot more people in a much deeper way if you wrote about something that has long been close to your heart instead of about the celebrities : about how to build healthy and loving relationships. You will probably offend your old readers with this ... but the world as a whole will thank you for it. The old blog just doesn't fit into your life anymore, no longer with your most important goals. Perhaps you could also hand your blog over to someone who is more passionate than you are now that Heidi Klum is now screwing with her gardener and her personal toenail cutting staff.
  • 5. You could only half-heartedly keep the promise and thereby cause damage. Sometimes the other is better served when we say no instead of saying yes and meaning no. Instead of redeeming something that means nothing to us and that we cannot concentrate on with half a heart, just one eye and the little finger. For example, no one is helped with a brain surgeon who stands in for his colleague and then listlessly pokes around in the patient's skull like a child on a plate of leek.

P.S .: Most promises can be kept if you are authentic. See The 3 Things That Make Your Life Authentic ... or a Lie


Photo: Hartwig HKD

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