How do you destroy your narcissistic ex

The women who have been broken by narcissists love differently

I bet you thought you were in the most romantic love story of your life when you first met him.

He came up to you and it clicked. He kissed you and your world suddenly turned upside down. You fell under his care. You were his.

Also read:
3 mind games ALL narcissistic men play in relationships
EVERY single one of these 10 things is emotional abuse - but, really!
Emotional abuse and the scars you can't see

But this love story didn't last long and it probably didn't have a happy ending either.

It took him a long time to take off the mask he put on for his one-man show, to impress you, or rather, for his hunt, where he captured you in his cruel trap.

The guy was addicting. You even knew he wasn't good for you, but you couldn't stop. You needed him and kept coming back.

He was so sophisticated and persuasive. His lies were so good they bordered on fantasy. His story of his "crazy" ex-girlfriend was so real that you believed every part of it until you later found out that she was just a victim, just like you.

He's been slowly consuming you. Slowly he started the scene as it suited him. He needed it. It had to be the way he wanted it to be before attacking.

Also read:
To all the girls who have lost themselves to a narcissistic man
If your husband does these 10 things then he is a poisonous SOCIOPATH
22 things that happen when an empath falls in love with a narcissist

He feigned interest in you, and despite his own selfishness, he pretended to have made you the center of his world. He wanted you to feel like you meant the world to him, and that's how you started trusting him.

When you started trusting him, the rest was an easy game. He had you in his hand. You were powerless.

He isolated you from your friends and family because he convinced you that he was the only thing you needed and wanted in your life. When he finally managed to leave you all alone in this world, he attacked.

The mask was gone and suddenly your nightmare came true. A small part of your hell became your reality and you couldn't escape it. You couldn't just wake up. It really was - it happened.

Also read:
To my poisonous half - this is my last farewell!
To the narcissist who loved himself much more than he loved me
This is what happens when you finally leave a manipulative narcissist

These things became your everyday life. You couldn't escape him. He assured you that you are the crazy one. It twisted your memory, your identity, and erased your self-esteem.

You were an empty woman he'd fed his twisted version of what was right. And you believed him.

But everything has an end. And that nightmare too. You have been broken and left alone, but ultimately you are free. Today you are the woman who still knows how to love, but still loves a little differently ... and there is this new man, but:

The women who have been broken by narcissists love differently

1. You have no idea what true love is.

You may have taken a look at what it should have been like in the beginning. In the beginning he did the right thing, but it was all a lie. It wasn't because he loved you, but because he wanted to lure you, lock you up, and destroy you. You never experienced real love with him.

Also read:
A letter to the girl who survived narcissistic abuse
The Consequences of a Relationship with a Narcissist
I am a confident narcissist and here are 18 truths about loving people like us

Now that you've met the right man, you don't know how to act around him. You doubt him and this unknown love that you receive.

You think it's all a big farce, a lie that will cost you later. His love confuses you and it takes time for you to relax and open up to accept something you deserved to begin with.

2. You have trust problems

You didn't have an opinion of your own in your previous relationship. You were just a draft and he was holding the brush to fill you with the colors he chose.

You hated these colors, but you couldn't remove them until you were in control, until you took the brush and repainted yourself. You always feared that you would be forced to experience it all over again from the beginning.

Also read:
12 signs you might be dating a psychopath
11 things anyone will realize after being emotionally influenced by a narcissist
That's life with a narcissist ... (and no different!)

There was no trust. Your last relationship was based on lies.

It will be some time before you can trust someone again, but your new husband knows that. That's why he gives you the space you need. Therefore, he doesn't want to be hurt by the things you do out of fear.

He knows you need time to heal and he will be there for you. He will be waiting for you because he loves you.

3. You want to destroy everything that is good.

You subconsciously destroy your chance of happiness. You're trying to sabotage the only real relationship you've ever had. You are trying to drive away the only man who ever really loved you.

The fact that he seems perfect scares you because the narcissistic bastard was perfect too, too perfect in fact, and you ended up in the bottom pit of your life's journey.

Also read:
8 steps to healing after escaping narcissistic violence
11 signs you're a narcissist's worst nightmare
Budding psychopaths have these 14 personality traits

You are now trying to ruin your relationship because you cannot accept that something good will happen to you. You have been poisoned for too long and you cannot accept that a good and healthy life is waiting for you.

4. You apologize for everything.

You were used to carrying the whole burden of this toxic relationship. You were used to always being the one guilty.

You really thought it was all your fault. You found yourself on a cul-de-sac where you didn't know how to respond properly, so every time you reached out for an excuse. That was the only thing you knew would be the only thing he would accept.

The man who really loves you doesn't make you apologize all the time. The man who tries to show you true love is ready to confess when he's wrong. He is ready to say, "I'm sorry."

Also read:
12 warning signs that you are being psychologically manipulated
That's why a narcissistic relationship caused my anxiety disorder
8 behaviors psychopaths use to reveal their true identity

5. You are aloof.

It will be some time before you let go and trust someone. You will keep your distance because you are still hurt and you are not sure if this guy is the right one.

You have been treated badly by the men and you are still in pain. You don't want to be in any more pain. Your heart tells you it's okay and that you should allow it to get near you, but your mind just keeps running away.

Do not worry. It doesn't last forever. He won't make it long. He will fight with whatever he has to prove it and win your trust.

He will gently bind you with his love and you will not be able to escape. He won't let that happen.

6. You are waiting for a “boom”.

But there won't be any. You are unsure because everything is going smoothly. He is the most wonderful man you have ever met and he lavishes you with all the love and attention you deserve.

Also read:
10 signs he's being manipulative and you need to tick him off
Yes, one can get PTSD from staying in an emotionally abusive relationship
5 things you didn't know about because he's a narcissist

It will never stop.

And you're just waiting for lies to get through to you. You are waiting for an evil tsunami with manipulative lies, but the tsunami is not coming. All you see is clear skies and calm seas.

You keep your cover up because you are cautious and fearful. You have built a wall around you that he will tear down with his love to find you, to guard you and to make you well again.

7. You have to feel safe.

You need a promise that everything will be fine. You need him to believe that and it is hard because you have difficulty believing and you know that it is not easy for him either.

You need a safe place where you are loved and where you can finally love again.

You need him because you have all this love to give. You need it to drive away the fear and, with its help, to open a new chapter in your life and your coexistence.

Also read:
Inside the mind of a woman broken by an emotional psychopath
In this way, a narcissistic relationship caused my anxiety disorder
12 things narcissists often say and what they REALLY mean

He knows you love differently, that's why he loves you even more. You may have been broken when it met you, but you won't be long.

similar posts

11 good signs you got over your narcissistic ex
The secret language of narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths