How can I be happy on my own?

How I overcame my loneliness and became happy with myself alone

From loneliness to fulfilled solitude!

“I am often lonely, although I am not always alone. There is no one who gives me a knowing, loving look. Nobody who really cares about me. Nobody who really listens to me, understands me or shares their happiness with me. I often feel misunderstood, different and not belonging. I used to think the feeling of lonliness feed on the fact that I had no partner by my side. Today I have to admit that this is not entirely true. Because I sometimes feel lonely even among people. "

When a reader wrote me these lines a few days ago, I was deeply touched. I know from my own experience how cruel the feeling of loneliness can be. But now I almost never feel lonely, even though I consciously spend a large part of my time alone. What ways are there to get away from loneliness (regardless of whether you are single or in a partnership) to fulfilled solitude to find, I am writing about it today.

Do you know the feeling of loneliness?

Maybe you feel lonely, ignored, misunderstood, not belonging, superfluous or neglected? Loneliness has many facets. And also different causes.

4 causes of loneliness and ways to fulfillment

1. Disregarded or neglected

When we feel that we are not important to a person we value and love or to a certain group - for example: family, friends or colleagues - we feel uncomfortable. Our self-worth plummets, we feel neglected or even worthless. Such situations often spark one Vicious circle. Because we behave appropriately to the rejecting behavior of our fellow human beings. We close ourselves off, are stubborn or even withdraw with our self-pity.

To break this situation, two steps are recommended:

  1. In order to feel valuable again, you need to lovingly polish up your self-worth. Take an hour and realize how valuable wonderful person you are. Write down all the qualities that you and others like and appreciate in yourself. Write down everything that makes you adorable. Remember all the things you've done before. Look for occasions that give you a reason to be proud of yourself. Look at these lines over and over for several weeks.
  2. Change your behavior towards those people who seem to ignore or neglect you. There is a high probability that their behavior is not malicious. So be lenient and approach them actively. Your increased self-esteem will help you to act more positively and benevolently. The behavior of those around you changes accordingly.

2. Lonely and redundant

Those who are often consumed by loneliness and feel superfluous, often lack the vital meaning. So go looking for an activity that suits you Meaning and joy Fulfills. Search for it until a smile forms on your face and the feeling of "I can't wait any longer - I want to start immediately" sets in.

Usually we do not come across passions or meaningful activities at the push of a button. Mostly we need to do this inspiration. I like to get this via Books. I mix novels, non-fiction books and life guides.

3. Not understood - not included

As is so often the case with loneliness, our thoughts turn into tooBeliefs become major co-culprits. These sneak in again and again unconsciously until we believe them. For example, the following are particularly counterproductive:

  • Nobody understands me!
  • Something is wrong with me. I am different!
  • I just don't belong!
  • I get excluded all the time!

These and similar conclusions mostly come from our past. The reason they feel so painful is because they are like feeling rejected. If you have such a belief in you, ask yourself if it really is that truth corresponds to. Are there any examples that prove otherwise? Make a note of all the people who still feel you understood, as well as those with whom you feel you belong and are accepted. Make yourself aware that your learned belief no longer corresponds to the truth. Repeat this process a few times so that the new belief can be imprinted on your subconscious.

4. Loneliness is a longing!

It describes the longing for someone who will free you from your loneliness. So ask yourself what you expect from this person. What should he do for you Should he entertain, praise and appreciate you, be happy that you are there, listen to you for hours, etc.? Write down your answers, then ask yourself how you yourself can meet these needs.

For example: You wish for love, praise, recognition and that someone motivates or entertains you. Then appreciate, motivate and inspire yourself! You can find inspiration in the following links.

My personal recipe against loneliness

The fact that I am enjoying the time with myself today is mainly due to the path of self-love, which I have been doing for some time now. Self love is how I find the most healing instrument against so many painful emotions in us. If you want to dive deeper into the topic, feel free to check out mine Self-love course at. From the heart, your Melanie

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