Has your partner ever called you fat?
Courageous confessions | These men told their wives that they were too fat
You are too fat! Probably no woman likes to hear this sentence - especially not from her own husband. Nevertheless, spouses let themselves be carried away to this remark again and again.
But what reactions are actually triggered by this in women and what drives men to make their harsh judgments? Three couples report.
Stephen and Claire
Claire: "I could have beaten him up!"
“When we got home after going out two years ago, I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror, unhappy looking at my bum and thighs. Then Stephen said, 'It's your own fault that you've put on so much.' I was amazed, he had definitely crossed a red line. I could have beaten him up. But because I recognized his honesty, I wanted to change something.
But Stephen overdid it. He hid candy and chips. When we went out to eat and I wanted to order dessert, he asked, 'Claire, do you think you really need this?' He achieved the opposite. Like a petulant child, I stuffed chocolate into myself just to annoy him. I know that I have to lose weight. But I want to do it for myself. "
Stephen: "Claire's whining about her weight drives me crazy"
“The fact that Claire talked nonstop about her weight drove me crazy. I kept giving her clues. For example, I wanted to give her an annual subscription to the gym. But she didn't respond. So in the end I was left with the hard way - brutal honesty! I really love claire. But if it continues to increase like this, I don't care.
If I imagine that I have too many pounds on my ribs and she would criticize me, that would be enough motivation for me to get active. That's why I don't understand why all my attempts to help her lose weight fail. "
Tim and Emily
Tim: “My wife with bacon rolls? For me a horror performance "
“A lot of women think it's not okay for a man to tell his wife that she is too fat. I think he has to do it if it bothers him. I like women who are physically in top shape. And I've always loved Emily's figure. She has a great bum and long, super-slim legs. It was a horror for me to see my wife suddenly carrying love handles and rolls of bacon with her.
On the other hand, if anyone said something bad about Emily or her character, I would be the first to defend her. Because her body gave us four wonderful children. The fact that her stomach is no longer as tight as it used to be is the price it paid. "
Emily: "His words hurt me deeply"
“We had our first child a few hours ago. I was holding little Henry in my arms when Tim's gaze wandered from the baby to my stomach and got stuck there. ,Human! You have gained a lot of weight ‘he blurted out without further ado. Other women would have slapped their husband. But I knew that Tim didn't mean it badly. He is very open-hearted and probably wondered why the stomach wasn't suddenly flat again without a child. Nevertheless, I was deeply injured. Why did he have to tell me that? I had eyes in my head myself. I was always slim until pregnancy.
Then I felt like a pudding. But after exercising, my old jeans fit again five months after the birth. A woman doesn't want to hear from her husband that she is fat. Just that he thinks it's great. And he should mean that honestly. "
Matt and Sarah
Sarah: "I'm grateful that he was honest with me"
“During a heated argument three months ago, Matt snapped at me, 'Yes, you should really lose weight!' And because he was really on the move, he said, 'Why don't you just stop whining and do something?' burst into tears and cursed him. How could the man who loves me say such a cruel thing? Later I went inside. I had asked him so many times if I was too fat. And never expected to get an honest answer. I had it now.
I had put on three dress sizes since our first date. Our argument broke out after I didn't like anything about me while shopping. I took out my bad mood on Matt. I am very grateful to him now. Because I started jogging and already lost nine kilos. "
Matt: "Telling her the truth felt like a breach of trust"
“After we got married two years ago, Sarah gradually got bigger, her upper arms, her stomach. Most of all, however, her complaining was on my nerves. What should you say as a man when a woman keeps asking if she is too fat when she really is? There are only wrong answers. On the day of our argument, I was fed up. Telling her the whole truth without taking any care felt almost like a breach of trust.
But it had to be said. What else would have happened? Before that, we had always had less sex. And over time she would not only have gotten fatter, she would also have gotten sick. Now she is transformed - self-confident and in a good mood. That makes a woman attractive. I'm glad our relationship outlived my honesty. "
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