How does sex feel 5

Sex during pregnancy: What is allowed is what pleases - and does not harm

If the pregnancy proceeds normally, the parents-to-be can maintain their love life as they please. However, some physical and emotional changes can affect sexuality.

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Research date: 05/08/2021

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Basically, there is nothing wrong with having sex during pregnancy. The unborn child is well protected by the uterus and amniotic fluid and is not harmed during normal sexual intercourse.

But like so many other things, sexuality changes during pregnancy. Carrying out a child requires a tremendous amount of physical and mental adjustment, which also affects the woman's need for closeness and sexuality. The man also has to get used to the new situation. The idea of ​​being responsible for a small person comprehensively and for a long time from now on has to be processed first - this applies to both partners.

When to be careful

With certain pregnancy risks, it may be necessary to refrain from penetration of the penis into the vagina during sex. These include infections, bleeding, premature labor, an unfavorably lying placenta (for example a placenta previa) or a ruptured bladder.

Caution is also advised:

  • in the first trimester of pregnancy, if the pregnant woman has had an early miscarriage,
  • in the last trimester of pregnancy, when premature birth is emerging and
  • in multiple pregnancies.

The expectant mother: Sometimes lust, sometimes frustration

Some physical changes can increase the desire for sex: The pregnancy hormones ensure that the sexual organs are supplied with more blood. This makes the clitoris and the lips of Venus (labia) more sensitive and the woman can be more excitable. The body also produces more vaginal secretions, which increases the lubricity of the vagina. The nipples are also more sensitive.

However, all of this can also lead to the fact that touching the genitals or breasts is perceived as uncomfortable or even painful. Whether physical changes increase or weaken the sensation of pleasure differs from woman to woman - and can change again in the course of pregnancy.

In the first few weeks of pregnancy, nausea, nausea, and fatigue can reduce the desire for sex. In the second trimester of pregnancy, when symptoms subside, most pregnant women feel better again. Often - but not always - the need for sex reappears.

In the last trimester of pregnancy, sexual desire decreases again in many women. The growing abdominal girth and the increasingly limited mobility make it difficult to find a comfortable position. Often there is also the worry of no longer being sexually attractive, even if the partner signals that he finds the physical curves attractive.

In this phase, the pregnant women are mainly focused on protecting the baby and the approaching birth and primarily want closeness, tenderness and security. But of course there is no such thing as THE mother-to-be and the father-to-be.

The future father: fascination and uncertainty

The physical changes in his partner can be fascinating and exciting to a man. The round belly and the larger bosom can act as erotic signals. Pregnancy hormones also make the hair shine more, the skin looks smoother and rosier and the area around the nipples turns darker. All of this can have enormous sexual attraction for the father-to-be and make his partner attractive to him in a whole new way.

But it can also be that a man feels insecure. The hormonally induced mood changes of the pregnant woman can irritate the partner just as much as the serenity and self-confidence that some women exude at times. Some men are also disconcerted by the significant weight gain in the pregnant woman or the leakage of foremilk from the breast.

It is not uncommon for men's lust to be clouded by the - usually unfounded - fear of harming their partner or unborn child during sex. Last but not least, some men (and women) find the presence of a “third party”, the unborn child, irritating during sexual intercourse.

Sometimes there are more important things than sex

The impending birth will bring about significant changes in many areas of life for the mother-to-be as for the father. What will life be like with (another) child? Will the partnership be able to withstand the challenges ahead? How will it affect financially and career advancement to (still) have a child?

Changed living conditions, existential fears and stress are always a more or less large disruptive factor for sexuality. It is no different in pregnancy. In this situation in particular, other concerns and needs can come to the fore.

Finding each other again

Sometimes pregnancy also makes conflicts and aversions that have hitherto remained unspoken, unmistakable. Especially with the first child together, the pregnancy and shared responsibility make the partnership a binding force that may not have been felt that way before. The feeling of being “trapped” may creep in, or doubts about the reliability of the other may arise.

If the idea of ​​the future common family life and the new parenting role does not trigger anticipation but increasing discomfort, such sometimes repressed discrepancies can also find expression in sexual displeasure or rejection.

Even if it is difficult: In conflict situations it only helps to question your own feelings and talk openly with your partner. If that doesn't work or the problems seem unsolvable, it can make sense to seek counseling for couples.