Why am I so unhappy in love

Unhappily in love: How to survive an unrequited love

If you can hardly sleep even with all the butterflies, but the object of desire seems totally insensitive to you, then the land is under. End of the world.

We all long for love. And especially in this case because we met someone who seems perfect for us. But he just sees it differently. And there is exactly nothing you can do. Because with unrequited love stupidly no raving and crying help. So what to do when you're so madly but unhappily in love?

Unrequited love is horror. And because it just hurts to be unhappily in love, it is all too easy to fall into lying to yourself: maybe you can still convince him of yourself? It might just take time. It may not be ready yet, but it may come ...

There are a thousand ways to gloss over yourself at this moment and you would love to believe it all. But: It doesn't help. This desperate hope only makes you hurt yourself even longer than it needs to be.

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Video by Fiona Rohde

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At the beginning we are still incredulous. We have received a rebuff, but still think: That can't be. Maybe I misunderstood something. Maybe he has not yet recognized my true nature, otherwise he would have to feel like me too. But at some point you realize: He doesn't love me. And my love remains unrequited no matter how hard I try. And then only the following tips will help:

Also read: Lonely together? Signs that the relationship is at an end

# 1: find the jump

The longer you have it in your life, the more indispensable you will find it. Therefore, keep your distance as soon as you notice that he is not reciprocating your love. The sooner you find the jump, the sooner you will feel better again. Don't even get involved in stories like friendship plus or an affair. You want it to be thrown all over and not just a crumb. So: be consistent and, if possible, break off all contact for the time being.

Also read: Overcoming lovesickness: 10 tips that really help against acute heartache

# 2: Be angry, but not unfair

When it is clear that the crush will fail, anger follows. How can he, the idiot? Why doesn't he love me And in your eyes he's the last idiot too. But your anger is also unfair. You can't force love, and your crush just doesn't want to. Point.

He can't be blamed for that (unless he took advantage of your feelings to find himself great, get you to bed or whatever. Then he's an idiot!). So you can't blame him for anything just because he doesn't tick the way we'd like it to.

And this is the moment when you have to realize: The guy may fit you perfectly in your mind, be Mr. Right and Superman in one: But he IS not perfect, otherwise he would love you. And since your love is unrequited, you have to realize: He's not into you, but into another type of person. And that's exactly why it's not perfect for you. Not your lid that fits.

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# 3: It's not up to you

Unrequited love hurts incredibly. Also because someone rejects and rejects us. He doesn't want us. A blow to the twelve for our self-esteem. After all, we couldn't win him over. This self-tearing is absolutely to be avoided. Because that only makes things worse. We should try to be logical.

He may prefer more boring women than you. Maybe he doesn't like your taste in clothes, your job, or your type of humor. And that's all a matter of taste and doesn't make you better or worse. If someone likes french fries, they will never be as hot on a lettuce leaf. And if you're french fries and he's into salad, that doesn't make you feel bad.

Also read: A new one right away? How men deal with lovesickness

# 4: You are in control of your life

Even if your self-confidence is now in the basement due to the unrequited love, make it clear to yourself: You have got along without him in your life so far. You are not dependent on him, you stand on your own two feet. Since you have your life in your own hands, this is more than painful, but you won't be ruined by it.

Do you need a little incentive? Then read this: Get up, straighten the crown: 15 things you should learn from self-confident women

# 5: get out of his way

If he's decided against you, then don't mutate into a clingy pooch. Be proud and stay away. Keyword: cancel contact. It's hard, but it's better for you. And he, too, will appreciate it if you accept his no. Because that speaks for you.

# 6: get out there

Don't try to curl up in your lovesickness. Even if the guy seemed perfect to you (which he isn't, because your love is unrequited and he hasn't also fallen in love), and even if all the other people are not that one you miss: still meet with love People.

No matter if girlfriend, favorite grandma or whoever. They all like you and will give you warmth and understanding. It is good to feel that and it also builds your ruined self-esteem again in no time. You'll see.

# 7: Everything has a purpose

If it shouldn't be with him and you, then sometimes it makes sense. Trust it wouldn't have worked. That you would not have become really happy with him because you always invested and felt more than he did. Relationship with him would not have been good. And you deserve a great relationship that makes you absolutely happy, with a partner who loves you as much as you love him.

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Don't imagine how great it would have been with him, but be realistic about what it would have been like to be with someone who doesn't reciprocate your love. Such an imbalance in a relationship never goes well. And the right lid will come. The man who doesn't tear your heart out, but just makes you happy. This one is definitely not.

Created September 21, 2017
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